Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"It was all on the Cover of Newsweek..."

"I'm on my way..."

So this is one of those weeks when I don't have time to tie my shoes (for which I have an elegant solution), but I wanted to post very quickly with this article for anybody who missed it. It's unique for two reasons. First, it's a very positive coverage of poly lifestyles. Second, it's the first time I've seen a major publication treat it as anything other than a weird thing that some weird people off in weirdland do. This article comes pretty close to acknowledging that poly is becoming a common American lifestyle for normal middle class people. And it mentions Tristan which amuses me.

For my part of course, I have strong feelings. When divorce became acceptable in the 1950s and 60s, I think it was a "great leap forward" (apologies Chairman). But also a pretty profound negative. I mean, let's all cheer, we don't have to have one miserable relationship till the end of our lives. All we have to do is be willing to hurt the people around us and fuck our lives up, and make a horrible choice between the new sexual adventures we are driven to, and a partner we love and care about. The divorce rate suggests just how much people were willing to pay for that little bit of freedom. But...it's like abortion. It may be better than the alternative, but nobody thinks it's a particularly good thing, except maybe Marla Singer (sue me I feel literary today).

So now we're finally coming around to the idea that it might be healthy to have multiple relationships that support multiple needs. That the roles of romantic lover, source of security, indulgence, disciplinarian, partner can all get juggled around. It seems like a no-brainer.

At some point I'll share my amateur sociological ramblings on why this is good, and why we can do it today but couldn't do it in 1740 (and how the fact that some people did anyway generally proves the point). For now, read and enjoy:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164

Excerpt:

It's enough to make any monogamist's head spin. But the traditionalists had better get used to it.

Researchers are just beginning to study the phenomenon, but the few who do estimate that openly polyamorous families in the United States number more than half a million, with thriving contingents in nearly every major city. Over the past year, books like Open, by journalist Jenny Block; Opening Up, by sex columnist Tristan Taormino; and an updated version of The Ethical Slut—widely considered the modern "poly" Bible—have helped publicize the concept. Today there are poly blogs and podcasts, local get-togethers, and an online polyamory magazine called Loving More with 15,000 regular readers. Celebrities like actress Tilda Swinton and Carla Bruni, the first lady of France, have voiced support for nonmonogamy, while Greenan herself has become somewhat of an unofficial spokesperson, as the creator of a comic Web series about the practice—called "Family"—that's loosely based on her life.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Pimping

Back in March when it was cold outside, S. circulated an article in the Washington Post
to me that we thought was very amusing. It was about how a sex store was opening in Old Town, despite the histrionics and aneurisms of the local high hats. This was just amusing. The shop also got coverage in the Alexandria Gazette (one of the oldest newspapers in the country).

To be honest, I never thought anything more of it. I do most of my shopping online from JT's Stockroom, Blowfish and the like.

However, I've also had some bad experiences ordering online. I've ordered toys that ended up being too big, or not of a good material, not because they were badly advertised, but just because it's hard to gauge these things online. There are times that you want to see merchandise, especially something like a hood or a piece of clothing, and there are times that you want to get an idea of the size and quality of a toy.

Leather Rack at Dupont Circle used to be my venue of choice. They were always better than Pleasure Place. But they also focused heavily on a gay male clientèle. The last time I was in Leather Rack, all I could say was "it looks like the recession has hit them hard." They seemed to be focusing on a few lines of stock and had very little general merchandise. It's possible they're just narrowing focus as well, but...they fell a good bit on my list of "places to shop."

That left me feeling as I had for a while that the only place to go for toys was Passional in Philadelphia. They're a great store, but also about a 5 hour round trip from DC, and I simply don't get through Philadelphia as much as it seems I used to.

Which left me a little high and dry. So this weekend at the end of a weekend trip I ended up in Old Town Alexandria for dinner with J. We were functionally broke at the end of a weekend, and mostly window shopping, when she noticed a toy store. I really figured it would be the standard run for a suburban lingerie store. Racks and racks of flimsy, poorly made, babydoll negligees; a rack of Doc Johnson vibes; and a little chained room in the back with a paltry stall of a few very basic toys.

This turned out not to be the case...

Le Tache compares favorably to some of the best stores I visited in San Francisco. At three levels, you don't realize right away how awesome it is, because the *kinky* stuff is in the back. Not in a little side room though. Half the basement and all the upstairs are given over to equipment.

And not just a few vibes. They have a really thorough lineup of just about every vibrator you could imagine. I won't say it's as big as the biggest online stores, but I have never seen as much equipment on the walls at one time, and the displays cover a huge wall and straggle upstairs and downstairs. It's a really tremendous selection.

They have a big selection of the fucking machines you can see at JT's Stockroom (which provides most of the stock I think) or Kink.com, cases of electrical play toys, cages...I was obscenely impressed.

And the atmosphere was friendly and clean. I think despite the protests it speaks to the fact that BDSM is becoming mainstream. When my mother operated a Lingerie store, I think it would have been a given that if a customer turned a corner and saw piston-driven fucking machines a la Kink.com, they would run away. It's clear that the average girl on the street today is not particularly freaked out by walking into a place that sells armbinders, or TENS units, and isn't likely to walk out even if all the stock is not something they'd want to play with.

The place is healthy and I like that. For all my perversions, I feel like at core WIITWD is something people should not be ashamed of, and that should be found in a boutique in Old Town, not just a run down building in a scary back section of town.

So...Washington (the area if not the city) once again has a really first rate Kink-Store.

The only negative I'll say is that compared to dealer prices at events, even by stores, some of the higher end items had a steep markup. But Old Town isn't a cheap district. On the other hand, there is a metal plug that I've been wanting for months but couldn't find on a shelf without going to Philadelphia. Le Tache carried the same toy in a friendlier modern silicone of some sort for $15. I may eventually get the metal plug but they were easy on the budget at the end of a weekend, and I like the idea of being able to experiment before laying down better than $100 for a toy.

Give them your business or shop online...if you're in Washington and want to see the quality of what you are buying, Le Tache is an excellent choice.